I Need Counselling, and So Do You

Sometimes, when reading through test logs, code, reports, and the like, I find it useful to do a mind-reset by taking a minute and doing some junk food reading. Reading that has absolutely no resemblance of importance or profound thought whatsoever.

So I switch over to CNN.

While I'm on CNN, I see that some actor has been checked in for counseling. I love dirt like this. What was it? Booze? Drugs? Gambling? Maybe another anti-Jewish rant? Well, errr... not exactly.

This actor was checked in for uttering an anti-gay slur to a castmate. (I'll pause as you re-read the previous sentence). Now, a cloud of panic overcame me. You see, I too am guilty of this. I've played years in hockey leagues, soccer leagues, and lacrosse leagues. On probably more than one occassion, while in the throws of confrontation with an opposing player, I've uttered this type of slur. I'll explain myself.

You see, when you get slapped a good one from a slash from some goon, you do not turn and say, "Sir, I do object to your conduct. Please refrain from using your stick in such a manner." No. Usually you turn and say something like, "F*** you, you c**ks*cker!" Or a similar sentence that challenges the antagonists sexuality. It might as well be written in the rule book.

Are you guilty? Do you need counselling?

In the case of the actor mentioned earlier, his executive producer said to CNN that this episode needs to be dealt with "in a way that underscores the gravity of the situation while giving us all a foundation for healing".

A foundation for healing? Huh? Wha... ?

CNN also reports that this slur has resulted in the deaths of hundreds of baby harp seals off the Baffin Island coast, and has exacerbated the Global Warming problem (Jabba Campbell: 2007).

When will the madness end? Next up... therapy for anti-intelligence, or anti-honesty comments? I can just see CBC reporting that the House of Commons has shut down due to all members needing counselling.

Gotta admit, Vista looks pretty cool

A graphical look at your open applications in Vista. Haven't I seen this before somewhere?

Vista talk is starting to ramp up again, this time with a different tone. Articles in 2006 that covered Vista were not exactly positive, lampooning Microsoft for not meeting stated deadlines, jabbing at them for their goofy licensing scheme, and giving it to them for various other gaffes. But Vista is coming, like it or not. So the next round of reports will take on a "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em" approach.

I'm a little reluctant to join the Vista "Love-In".

What I'm hoping for is that Apple does not take a page out of Microsoft's book and move at the speed of an legless tortoise in getting Leopard out. There's been so much iPhone talk, did Steve Job's forget about Mac users? Has Apple consumed so much of its resources on the iPhone that the next OS X release, Leopard, will be delayed? IPhone this, iPhone that, what will it look like? What will it do? Whatever.

Apple's market share increased again in 2006, so, in my little fantasy world, what Apple could do is release Leopard in early February just as the Vista release hype gathers momentum. And have those hilarious "Mac and PC" ads dig at Microsoft for their draconian licensing, their over-the-top DRM measures, and their monster system requirements. GO FOR THE THROAT.

Not to mention, update the hardware line a bit. Even if it's just a speed bump. Throw us a bone.

But I like cheering for the little guy, especially when the little guy has better stuff than the buy guy. So I'll cut the little guy a lot more slack. But this is not charity. If Vista is out, and reviews are lukewarm, and Leopard is still toiling in its efforts to get out the door, and there's no Mac hardware upgrades worth noting, than back to Windows it shall be.

I think this line was in GoodFellas: "Nothing personal. I'ts just business."

My Sure-Fire Predictions for 2007

BEHOLD YE MERE MORTALS. HERE ARE SWAMI HUTCH'S MUCH ANTICIPATED PREDICTIONS FOR 2007

Such as the Winnipegger has a natural gift of odor, or the hard core UNIX user has a natural gift of acne, I was born with a psychic ability to see into the technological future. Here now are my predictions for 2007. After reading this, you'll be amazed. How does he do it?

I'm about to gaze into my crystal balls...

"Oh Crystal Ball! Show me now the future! What will be in 2007!"

(1) The Crystal Ball is showing that Windows Vista has launched. Less than 24 hours after launch, it's first security flaw will be announced.

(2) I'm seeing that Both HD-DVD and Blu-Ray formats will be cracked, and widely available.

(3) I'm also seeing that a big Hi-Tech firm will be implicated in a stock scandal, or options scandal.

(4) Now the Crystal Ball shows me two big Tech firms, they are merging. One has bought the other and they are now one.

(5) I now see through the magic of the Crystal Ball that Bill Gates will get richer in 2007.

(6) Now it looks like the sale of LCD display technology is really taking off, especially for HDTV. Plasma will take a back-seat to LCD.

(7) Now the Crystal Ball finally shows me that Apple products' sales will continue to grow.

I know. You're asking yourself, "how does he do it?" These are pretty bold predictions, I realize. But you can take them to the bank.