The NHL's Last Two Pillars.

(Disclaimer: major bias from this post. Author is Canadian, and thus permanently impaired with hockey culture)

Ever since the Gretzky trade, we've witnessed a surge in popularity for hockey, and not just the NHL. The League has spread to new American cities, even the CHL (the Canadian Hockey League) has remained popular in Michigan, Washington, and Oregon. It's not at the level of the other three major sports in the U.S., but its not exactly a fringe sport either. Many Canadian hockey fans feel like proud papa's watching our baby grow up in the States. We hope that Americans will enjoy our sport, a big part of our culture, and we hope Americans see it as "different", a breath of fresh air.

Right now, there are two major "differences" that set apart the NHL from the other sports that are in danger of being tossed in order to adhere to the rigid American pro sports paradigm:

(1) Fighting, no other league allows it.

When Todd Fedoruk fell to the ice, knocked unconscious by a Colton Orr punch, the ripple effect soon gave way to a tidal wave of public concern. The NHL's Disciplinary Sheriff Collin Campbell has even taken this to the next level, stating that he wanted to carefully consider fighting's future in the League. The "Instigator Rule" then creeps into the conversation. As you may know, the Instigator Rule states that the aggressor in a fight receives an additional two minute minor penalty and another possible 10 minute misconduct, thereby putting their team at a disadvantage. This makes it very difficult for enforcers to police against extra physical attention being paid to a team's star player.

Let's take a deep breath here before we punt fighting out of the game. Campbell can maybe table some other ideas, like removing the instigator rule concurrent with expelling players who fight. Perhaps ramp up suspensions for particularly egregious play. Nobody goes to an NHL game to watch a fight anymore. But, then again, you don't go to a game to see your star player lying on the ice all gooned-up from some meat-head. I think the odd tilt has a place in the game. But the issue should be on controlling it,not just giving it the heave-ho.

(2) Point system, no other league has it.

It used to be 2 points for a win, 1 point for a tie. But the concept of a "tie" doesn't digest well with the American sports fan, they are not used to it, they haven't been exposed to it. NFL/NCAA football ties occur at the frequency of lunar eclipses. So, we introduced overtime, eventually the shoot-out, which killed the dreaded tie game. We still have the single point for a tie after regulation time, but this concept is under siege.

Consider this, if you eliminate the single point for the regulation tie and only award the two points for the win, the point system becomes redundant. A team will always have an even number of points evenly divided by the number of wins that they have amassed. The league might as well convert to the American system of Wins, Losses, Percentage, Games Back. The point system will become meaningless without the single point. To avoid this, instead of eliminating the point for the tie, the league should devalue the single point by increasing the value of the win. Give three points for the win, and the single point for the tie. This under-emphasises the tie, and we keep our unique point system.

I hope we keep pillar #1 and #2. They keep our game unique. Next year, the NHL will have new uniforms for all 30 teams. There you have it, you change junkies. Let this overhaul digest before you aim your sights on fighting and the point-system.

Me Not Like-um Movie

Its no mystery that our family is totally into the Disney thing. We went as a family to DisneyWorld last February ('06), and we've already bought our plane tickets and booked our condo, Disney Beach Club, for a return trip to DisneyWorld in December of this year. So when my three year-old spotted the commercial for the new release of Peter Pan, I got it for him.

His Mom, brother, and I, along with the wee lad, plopped ourselves down to watch it. Now, I don't know if working in government, getting older, or the political correctness movement can change a person, but Mom and I were a little surprised by how the movie pandered to stereotypes.

One was subtle: the females were mostly cast as a petty bunch. The mermaids gave Wendy, who was competition for Peter Pan's attention, a good soaking. Tinkerbell tried to "wack" (mafia term) Wendy out of jealousy. But this was subtle, we let this one slide.

But one palpable stereotype you just could not miss: portrayal of natives. When the kids in the movie travelled to Neverland, they were pursued and eventually captured by "indians". These indians were very primitive, spoke in a lot of "ugg's", were ugly, and were just basically characterized as savages. Not to mention they were coloured this ridiculous fire-engine red colour.

One moment that was over the top was the singing of the song "What Makes the Red-man Red". Something to the effect of the first indian chief was kissed by an indian princess, he then blushed, and they've been red ever since. So this musical narration explains how they diverged from the normal "white" to "red". Because white skin is normal, please explain why yours is not white, right?

This movie was clearly rife with stereotypes, but we did seize the opportunity to tell our kids about the way of thinking back in the "old days". During our talk, my 8 year-old completely surprised us with native culture knowledge we never knew, so that was reassuring.

But, I will be fair with Disney. The movie "Pocahontas" depicted natives quite differently, it was the white faced intruders who were the savages. And their upcoming "The Frog Princess" has Disney's first African American female protagonist. So Disney does seem to make an effort in keeping up with the times.

My wife says there's some new Peter Pan ride at Disney, we'll definitely be checking that out. We'll still watch Disney movies, buy their crap, visit their parks. I'm pretty sure the executives at Disney realize that they are being gauged to a different standard than other entertainment companies.

Oh yeah, we thought the movie sucked anyway. It was pretty boring compared to Disney's later efforts. Whew!

How Quickly We Forget...

Born in Vancouver, brought up in Victoria, now living in Calgary, I've always been surrounded by post card scenery. As a kid, you've got better things to do than gawk at an ocean. Besides, the ocean meant weekend clean-up duties on our family's boat. What kid wants to do work on a weekend? Bah! Ocean schmocean! But in having to do some return visits to Victoria on family business, I've stopped in at the harbour and taken a moment to soak it in a bit. Its some seriously good scenery over there on the island. I guess I forgot. I felt like apologizing to the Pacific for taking her for granted.

Same thing this past weekend. Here I am, living in Calgary, and the Rockies were a glance away. We can even see them through our bedroom window. I'd pass by the window, have a glance, think "how nice", then move along, probably double-checking my wife's cleaning (she's been slipping lately, almost time to lay down the law). But this past weekend, my boy's hockey tournament was in Canmore, Alberta. It was really cool to slowly approach the foothils, then be full-on into the Rockies. Both my boys were staring out the window with a stare not even their XBox could garner.

The coffee in our hotel was the most vile swill one could imagine. It tasted like feet. So I had to walk across this field to a Starbucks yesterday morning. I had to. It was in this field, that I had a similar moment to the one I described earlier about being in the harbour and soaking it all in. I halted for a moment in the field, grande Kenyan Starbucks in hand, and looked around. I soaked it all in again. Once again, I felt like apologizing to the Rockies for taking her for granted.

And after this moment of pure tranquility and inner peace, I drove the family to the rink for our last game of the tournament. On the ride home, the oldest boy leaned forward and asked, "Dad, can we come back here?" I promised him that, yes, we would be back. But when there's no tournament, or anything like that. We'll just concentrate on soaking it all in.

Boy, 8, Pranked by Own Father.

The boy sits in stunned silence,

in total awe of his favourite team being so close.

In an earlier post, I outlined my evil plan of deliberately misleading my own son into thinking he was going to hockey practice, when, in fact, he was heading to the Flames game. My plan went off without a hitch. However, at first, I was afraid I did some permanent damage.

During our ride to the LRT station, we did the usual pre-practice ritual: we blasted the rock tunes, the boy would sit in the back and get amped up for the upcoming skate, we would talk about the team, and the other usual stuff. I then pulled up to the train station and parked. I sensed confusion in the back seat. "Why are we stopped?" the kid asked. I then rolled out my prepared confession.

"I did a bad thing, I lied to you." I said with my best look of profound sadness, acting not being my strong suit.

"Why did you lie?" the boy now looks completely bewildered. Poor kid.

"We're not going to practice."

"Where are we going?" he asks.

"You'll need to put this on." I then handed a shopping bag over to him. In it was his Flames jersey from home. He opened it and didn't immediately put it all together. It did not quite compute. I couldn't contain myself any longer.

"We're going to the Flames game right now."

He then gave a reserved smile, which I wasn't expecting. But then it ocurred to me that I probably shocked the poor kid. By the time he whipped on his jersey and put his jacket back on, the excitement had kicked in.

So, we went a little early so he could watch the warm-up. We saw Jarome Iginla take time out from his warm-up to toss a puck up over the glass to some onlooking kids. But during the warm-up, Ryan was as wide-eyed as I've ever seen him. He just sat there soaking it all in.

However, when the puck dropped, he got himself into "fan mode" and cheered his little guts out. It was a real bonus being 5 rows up from the ice.

I'm pretty sure this is one prank he won't be forgetting anytime soon.

Oh yeah. We won 5-4 on a shoot-out. The fans went ballistic when Iginla potted the winner.

Maybe when he's 30, he'll prank me with a BMW in my driveway? Hmmm.....

My Own Son is About to Suffer a Cruel Hoax

As many of you know, this blog originates out of Calgary. In Calgary, there is a religion: hockey. Our religion has much in common with others. We tithe our heard earned money to this religion (ice time, minor hockey fees, equipment, fan jerseys). We have a duty to perform a pilgrimage to our holy site known as the rink, or the holiest of sites, the Saddledome. Our religion even has a supreme pontiff, who goes by the name of Don Cherry. His mass is called "Coaches Corner" on CBC. Most Canadians gather for mass on Saturday nights during the first intermission of the first game on Hockey Night in Canada.

Like a good Dad, I have passed on the religion of my forefathers to my two sons, both eight and three years of age. My oldest is a now a devout convert, practicing our religion with a fervor not yet seen in my family. However, I have failed him. I have failed my son. Because we live in a very religious city, Calgary, getting tickets to go to the Saddledome to see the Flames is a challenge. I feel like a one-armed guy at a rubic's cube contest. I pray to the hockey gods "Oh Lords of the Rink! Deliver to me tickets! Have mercy upon me!".

Yesterday, the planets all aligned. I received an email from Ticketmaster. My turn on the waiting list was up. Tickets were put aside for me. I promptly brushed away a tear that had trickled down my cheek and nabbed 'em.

But, I have an evil plan. A cruel hoax. An act of sheer debauchery is about to be experienced by my eight year-old.

The game is the Monday night game against the St Louis Blues. I'm going to hide his Flames jersey in the car somewhere. I'm then going to say at dinner, "So, are you ready for hockey practice?" He'll refute the very idea of a practice being that night, so I'll inform him that I got a phone call from the coach. We'll then get ready, I'll grab his equipment, toss it in the trunk, and away we go.

When we pull up to the train, or to the parking lot, I'll offer my full confession and reveal that I have lied. I suspect the reaction to my confession will be more Oprah than Jerry Springer. But tune in later for a blow-by-blow account on how this all went down.

Top 5 Pro Sports gigs

This topic came up in a leisurely discussion between my wife, my 8-year-old boy, and me. We were all marvelling at how active the 3 year-old boy was at the time, and started ponder the topic: "if we had the magical capability to choose one, which professional sport gig is the best?" Of course, this is pure fantasy, we are still contributing towards their RESP's (for outside readers, Registered Education Savings Plan, our government helps pay for kids to go to college here in Canada).

Here's our top 5:

Number 5: Professional Soccer



Appealing: Lots of places to play, including some exotic locations. Hi earning potential. Get to play outdoors. Hi celebrity factor in Europe, even in lower divisions. Short games, around about 2 hours.

Unappealing: Short career, likely considered a 'has been' by the age of 30. Best leagues far away from home. Risk of injury somewhat high. National team not likely to win many games. Not too popular in home country, pro game mainly having "cult" status so far.

Number 4: The NBA

Appealing: Free education from college, which can be applied after playing days are over. Guaranteed contracts. Hi exposure to celebrities, able to capitalize on celebrity status.

Unappealing: Low number on roster, ultra-competitive to get spot. No farm system to prolong career, or develop as a role player. High exposure to crime. Would have social/racial stigma of being "white player".

Number 3: Major League Baseball

Appealing: Long career, almost common to see players in forties. Guaranteed contracts. Chance to prolong career in minors. Low injury risk. Only play in good weather.

Unappealing: Not much down time, playing everyday. Highly politically charged atmosphere. Isolated to North America.



Number 2: The PGA

Appealing: Extremely long career. Huge income potential. Highly social game, get to meet other celebrities and the like. Very low injury risk. Can live in hometown, then fly away to touranments and come home.

Unappealing: No guaranteed money. Many have to requalify every year. Not particularly athletic of an endeavor, potential for becoming "fuller figured"



Number 1: The NHL

Appealing: Fits into home country's culture. Would fulfill "every Canadian boy's dream" to play in NHL. The ultimate team sport, other guys sticking up for you. Protected by "the code". Chance to earn good living and status in Europe. Low crime exposure.

Unappealing: Risk of concussion. Risk of deliberate injury (as in, someone like Todd Bertuzzi). Low chance of capitalizing on celebrity status. Very competitive in representing country at major tournament like Olympics. Low ethnic diversity.