Air Canada Hates Us

I am going to tell you a twisted tale of horror. A tale that will make your soul burn with pure visceral hatred. A tale about an evil empire that wields its flaccid sword towards on comers. This is a tale of Air Canada.

As some of you know, we're planning a two-week trip to DisneyWorld, Florida. We finalized these plans last January. Since then, we've been going stark raving mad with anticipation.
The flight was booked last January with Aeroplan points. There were three reasons why we went with Air Canada: (1) We could use the points, (2) It was a direct flight to Orlando and (3) we had no idea Air Canada hated kids. Since we have two young boys, the importance of a direct flight cannot be emphasized enough. When we did DisneyWorld in 2006, we went by WestJet direct to Orlando. When we went to Hawaii the year before that, there was a changeover in Vancouver. These changeovers are a killer with kids in tow. Apparently, these airlines have a policy that you can't use kennels for kids, you can't stow them in cargo. Whatever.

On Sunday, the boys' Grandma gets a call from Air Canada that our family-friendly Orlando flight had been cancelled. We had been reassigned a red-eye flight that left Calgary at midnight to Toronto, then change planes to Orlando. Grandma called to protest indicating that we had young kids with us, but it fell on deaf ears. Any effort to compromise came with resistance. In the end, we're getting there over two days: day one Calgary / Toronto, day two Toronto / Orlando. We pay for the hotel in Toronto. We get an extra hotel bill, and a big ol' middle finger from Air Canada.

I told this story to my co-worker Jabba. As she was munching on a chicken-wing, she wisely stated that companies have this bass-ackwards. Shouldn't customers who redeem loyalty points be treated like gold? Air Canada, as yourself this: how did we come to collect these "points"? Ever hear of a company called "WestJet"? Are you aware that this is not 1990, there is actual competition now?

Jabba vented her disgust with a mighty burp. I touched a nerve.

So, it is my duty as a customer to pass on my story. I hope you remember this story the next time you are confronted with the choice of Air Canada or WestJet.

The Toy Hall of Fame: a Contribution

The U.S. National Toy Hall of Fame has inducted the Kite, the Atari 2600, and the Raggedy Andy doll into its hallowed halls. I had no idea such an institution existed. Apparently, its pretty new with only 39 inductees, with various toys like the Barbie, Play-Doh, and Lego.

Seems like a good idea, so I'll help them out a bit. Here are my personal recommendations for the Hall, based on my own personal toy collection when I was a wee lad:

(1) Rock 'em Sock 'em Robots : According to photographic record, this was a Christmas gift. I was pretty young at the time, so I don't recall ever receiving it. But the evidence of this toy's impact on my me is unmistakable. Photos from this Christmas depict me battling my first opponent, my Grandfather, in Rock 'em Sock 'em. No winner is evident, but since I seemingly could only barely press down those buttons, I suspect I was handily defeated. And, yes, my Grandfather and I are still on speaking terms.

(2) Big Jim : This particular toy has my earliest recollection. I do recall playing with it and granting it "favourite toy" status for a period of time. That's about it. But it must have been a pretty impressive toy. I probably had Big Jim beating the crap out of all my other toys, good ol' Jim.

(3) Commodore 64 : this "toy" became an obsession. I remember spending hours on this thing. I remember engaging in verbal battle with my family in order to commandeer the TV, so I could hook 'er up. We were a one TV home at the time, but soon became a two TV home. I recall the emotional scarring of never having received the highly coveted C64 accessories: the cutting edge "dot-matrix" printer, and the "modem" you actually rest your phone handset on.

(4) Walkie Talkie : When I got this toy, I lived near a wooded patch in Esquimalt, a kind of suburb of Victoria. I remember spending hours with my buddies with these walkie talkies in the woods. Esquimalt had a large military presence, so the other army kids would always want to portray some sort of mission, as I remember. I wonder how many of the ol' gang are currently incarcerated?

(5) Cap Gun : Easily the most politically incorrect toy I ever played with. What made this thing cool was the loud bang, that was the selling point. As I recall, none of us "pulled up on the five-oh pull out a glock and bus' a cap in his ass". None of that at all. It was just plain ol' shooting a gun. The target was inconsequential.

I would pursue a position on the selection committee of the Toy Hall of Fame, but I'll be too busy with boys in hockey.