Podcast Addiction, the New Disorder

This morning I thought was going to be like any other morning. About 5 or 10 minutes before I walk out the door to catch the bus, I sync my iPod. Doing so ensures that I have the latest podcasts at my fingertips for the bus ride into the downtown core.

This morning was different.

I looked at the time stamps of the podcasts, there no new podcasts for the day. I felt cold. Alone. Confused. I asked myself, "How could this be?". I clicked the "refresh" button in iTunes. Still no new podcasts. A sense of terror soon gripped my soul. What would I now do on the bus? What would I listen to? I felt lost. I then hung my head and realized that I had a podcast addiction.

Indeed, when I finally got on the Express bus to downtown, and sat down, it felt weird. I had no new podcast to listen to. I got the shakes, my chin twitched. What's happening to me?!!

My overall point is this. Podcasts are good things, very enjoyable, makes the bus ride boredom melt away. But make sure you have an audio-book on stand by. And let this serve as an advisory that they can get darn addictive.

By the way, here are my podcasts, the ones that lead me to my OCPD (Obsessive Compulsive Podcast Disorder):

(1) Pardon the Interruption - ESPN. Two very animated sports guys commentating on US sporting news. Very rare hockey material.

(2) Prime Time Sports - Rogers Sportsnet. One not so animated host commentating on sports, usually a high hockey dose.

(3) TWIT - This Week In Tech - Leo Laporte is host. A week's worth of geek news with a panel of very likable geeks of all age ranges.

(4) Quirks and Quarks - CBC. Venerable CBC science guy Bob MacDonald chats up scientists and often times succeeds in making subject matter interesting.

(5) Learn French by Podcast - learnfrenchbypodcast.com. Host capsulizes a typical daily event in life, and disects the conversation. Actually pretty interesting.

If any of you know of any other good ones out there that can help fuel my addiction, can you let me know?

Gutless

Pictured right is a hockey dad.

At his son's Atom hockey game, he was troubled to find out that his son had been benched for the start of the game: the boy had missed practice, and was dogging it during the warm-up. The standard coach's attention-getter.

How did the boy's dad react? He decided to leap into the players' box and choke the coach until he was rendered unconscious. He didn't ask the coach after the game. He didn't consult the coach before the game if there were going to be repercussions for missing practice. He decided to try a little attempted murder.

His sentence was handed down today. All he gets is a fine. No jail. No remorse to his victim. No voluntarily declaring that he stay away from the rink. No counselling was sought. Instead, he took the gutless way out, he declared himself to be the victim. His Dad died recently, he was sleep deprived from travel, he had some stress going on, I'm sure he had more on his list.

Hockey Canada President Bob Nicholson was really hoping for a message to be sent, but this gutless coward was sent no such message. Now, Nicholson echoes the thoughts of many hockey people: "is it now open season on hockey volunteers?"

But this guy is a spineless coward, and forever will be a pariah in the rink. Believe me, hockey parents talk. Word gets around in a hurry. The coward has been banned for 3 more years from the rink, doesn't matter. No one will talk to him. Some may even want to give him a little Frontier Justice, although that would clearly be sinking to the level of this slimy worm.

But at least this is big news in the country. Its not so commonplace that it barely gets a mention. I'm going to bring the topic up at my boy's next practice. I wonder what the consensus will be towards the coward?

How to Salvage your Christmas Family Get-Togethers

The news lately is rife with all sorts of political offerings:

(1) Ed Stelmach elected leader of provincial PC Party, and by extension, Premier of Alberta
(2) Stephane Dion elected leader of federal Liberal Party, and by extension Her Majesty's Loyal Opposition
(3) Iraq report presented to President George W. Bush

Normally, not such a bad thing. It gets the region talking about politics, about policies that affect them, about how they want the future to take shape. But here's the problem: Family Christmas Gatherings. I may be generalizing here, but the older generation just laps this stuff up. It's like gasoline on a fire. If you let them follow-up on their own political topic introduction, your Christmas meal is in peril.

Here's my recommended course of action taken from a childcare technique called passive discipline through redirection. They introduce the topic, you use this technique to redirect the conversation, and thus save Christmas for your family.

Introduction: "So Ed Stelmach is our new Premier, eh?"
Diversion: "That race was pretty darn close, about as close as the NorthEast division. Those Flames are almost in first place! Think this is the year?"
Technique synopsis: As this is Canada, you can never go wrong with diverting to the topic of Hockey. The key is to draw the parallel between the competition from the leadership race to the competition of the NHL regular season.

Introduction: "Dumb Liberals anyway, voting in that Frenchman! Those guys won't be happy until they ruin this country!"
Diversion: "No more than this warm weather is ruining the ski season. We've had quite a few Christmases without snow, eh?"
Technique synopsis: Weather is the one topic that its virtually impossible to get a political angle on. Given the fact that Calgary December winters are relatively mild, you're diverting the conversation to a positive tone.

Introduction: "Those ungrateful Arabs! We're over there trying to help them, and those bleeding hearts are going to make that report to say we should get out of the Mid-East."
Diversion: "I think our soldiers over there will be concentrating too much on watching the World Junior Tournament. Must be tough on those kids to be away from home for Christmas!"
Technique synopsis: Here is the 'fork in the road' technique. You are presenting the participant with a choice to either pursue the hockey thread, or the family thread, either one presents a positive tone.

It is crucial to employ the diversionary technique immediately, the success of which is diminished with time as the conversation progresses. The older generation loves to pick up the sword and ramble on about politics, even at Christmas. So be ready. Be prepared. Be agile. Be the hero.

How We Elect Our Leader in Alberta

As you may be aware by the headlines, our province, the Province of Alberta, is in the throws of electing a new leader for the reigning PC Party. But this isn't just any ordinary let's-elect-a-leader-for-our-party convention, the leader-elect is assured to be leader of the Government of Alberta.

Please read the below carefully.

Here's a few snippets from Wikipedia:

• Candidates are approved by public referendum


• Citizens over sixteen years of age who have not been found guilty of a criminal offense can vote


• Individual vote totals, which are invariably high, are not verified by non-partisan, independent, or non-state organs and observers


• The elected leader of the party is automatically considered leader of the government, opposition, though constitutionally recognized, is largely inconsequential


• Members of the Party elect the leader through popular vote, not ordinary citizens


• The government has full fiscal and administrative responsibility for the health care of its citizens


• Government has had one-party rule for decades

To be honest, I couldn't find a PC Party Wikipedia entry, so the above comes from the Wikipedia article on the Cuban Government.

There is one main difference, however. Our current, and our next leader, will not have a beard.

Our Home: Now 99.999% Telus free

Telus never ceases to amaze me. Having worked for a competitor, we had a laugh at Telus's expense when the CRTC took the very rare step of publicly reprimanding their customer service practices. My Mom owns a small florist shop in a fairly newer strip mall, and called Telus to have internet installed. The guy came in and explained that he had to temporarily sever her credit card machine line so he could do some rewiring. About 30 minutes later, he looked at his watch and proclaimed, "Well, shifts over. I gotta be some place. I'll book you in again sometime." Still the wires were dangling from the ceiling, no internet, no credit card machine. When she called customer service, they said that my Mom should've quized the technician on precisely what he was going to do, clearly everyone is an expert on telecommunication network topology.

Then I get my telephone bill last month. Guess what? There is a $5 charge for "Long Distance Maintenance". A what? We never use long distance with our land line, we only only only use our cell for that. So they screw us with a charge for a service we never use.

Alas, I found a refuge. Having been pounded with these Vonage commercials, I did some investigation on this service and after much soul-searching, we took the plunge.

Phone bill with Telus: $41

Phone bill with Vonage: $20

Its really as simple as that.

In case you're wondering about the quality of the connection, it surprised me quite a bit! I was expecting a walkie-talkie type garbled connection that we would have to live with. But, alas, this was not the case. You get the odd tap-sound, or slight echo, but nothing that would come close to making your phone conversation suffer to the point where someone would comment on the connection.

I remember working retail while in University. They said the most dangerous customer complaint is the one that the company does not hear about. Assumably, this is because they'll beak off to their friends rather than the company itself.

So here's my Telus story, folks. Read it, tell two friends, and so on... and so on.... and so on....

Remembrance Day Poppies

Remembrance Day was last week, but I'm still thinking about a trend that was introduced for this year's batch of poppies: the White Poppy. Apparently, the movement started in the UK by some Christian groups for reasons not even they agree upon. Nevertheless, these poppies became all the rage in Alberta. Stores were selling out of them, there was one stand in the Calgary Core which sold out, they seemed to be in demand.

Since this group is piggy-backing on the icon-status of the Remembrance Day Poppy, what's to stop other groups? Will the environmentalists claim the green poppy? Will the Feminists lay claim to the pink poppy? Sure, why not? These groups care less about what the original poppy stands for than pushing forward their own cause. I heard one veteran say that that was their right, that was part of the reason he fought and saw many friends die.

So, looking into my crystal ball, here's Prime Minister Stephen Harper giving a speech just prior to Remembrance Day 2008:

A Travesty of Epic Proportions

As reported by CTV Sportsnet, a blown call of "epic proportions" took place Friday night in a game where the Dallas Stars beat the Edmonton Oilers by a goal. Referee Mick McGeough made an error in officiating errantly disallowing a goal that would have tied the game. After the game, the seething hatred from Edmontonians was palpable. Many were calling for McGeogh's job, a heavy fine, there were even threats.

To put things in perspective, I launched good old MS Notepad and copied the first few paragraphs of the CNN story reporting the Saddam Hussein death sentence verdict. I then did a Find/Replace on the following words:

Saddam Hussein = Mick McGeogh
Iraq = NHL
Nouri Maliki = Oiler Fans


Here's the Blown Call Story as reported by CNN:

Mick McGeogh has been convicted of crimes against humanity and sentenced to death by hanging.

Mick McGeogh and his co-defendants will be given the right to appeal, but that is expected to take only a few weeks and to end in failure for the defendants.

Long live the NHL! Long live the the NHL people! Down with the traitors!

Oiler Fans hailed the conviction in a televised address, saying that the sentence was "not a sentence on one man, but a sentence against all the dark period of his rule".

"Maybe this will help alleviate the pain of the widows and the orphans, and those who have been ordered to bury their loved ones in secrecy, and those who have been forced to suppress their feelings and suffering, and those who have paid at the hands of torturers," Oiler Fans said.

US President George W Bush welcomed the verdict as a "milestone" in the efforts of the the NHL "to replace the rule of a tyrant with the rule of law".

But the European Union urged the NHL not to carry out the death sentence.

When called to court, Mick McGeogh, dressed in his usual dark suit and white shirt and carrying a Koran, walked to his seat and sat down.

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I should remind you that Edmonton is the current murder capital of Canada.
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Stay in School or Die!

In a speech just this week, Senator John Kerry urged the nations young people to stay in school, tough it out, or else you might end up getting "stuck in Iraq". I guess he was trying to get the point across that your schooling could be a matter of life and death. School is of the utmost importance. But, come on now! Are you really screwed if you, say, don't finish high school?

Here's a list of notable people who are high school dropouts:

Albert Einstein
John D. Rockefeller
Henry Ford
Walt Disney
Abraham Lincoln
Carl Sandburg
Diana, Princess of Wales
Dave Thomas (of "Wendy's fame", not the comedian/actor)
President Martin Van Buren
Andrew Carnegie
John Chancellor
"Colonel" Harlan Sanders (okay, maybe this one's not so notable)
Charles Dickens
George Eastman
Clark Gable
President Andrew Jackson
Ray Kroc (arguably the most successful rags-to-riches business story of all time)
Prime Minister John Major
William Shakespeare
George Bernard Shaw
George Washington
Florence Nightingale
Walt Whitman
Peter Jennings
Sean Connery

Some people are just bound for glory, hard to imagine that graduating high school would have made a difference with these people.

What a difference a couple decades make...

Then....

And Now...

Are there worse things to be called?

With recent soldier deaths in Afghanistan, the threat of global warming, and a myriad of other issues facing Canada, what has our government's collective knickers in a knot? None other than the reprehensible act of Conservative Peter McKay alluding that ex-girlfriend Belinda Stronach is a dog. Naturally, the NDP want a resignation, the Liberals want a tearful apology, and the Bloc want him killed.

But hold on a sec. What is wrong with the label: "dog"?

Behold these examples taken from normal English language discourse:

"She's a hard worker! She's been working like a dog all week to get that proposal done."

"Check her out, dude. She's a total fox!"

"That reporter is a total bloodhound, her articles are my favourite."

"She's really nice. Its only her bark that's worse than her bite, once you talk to her, you'll see."

"Pretty fancy snowboarding, there. Wish I could hot-dog like that!"

I can think of another word that is far worse for a modern day woman to be called. Can you guess the word I'm thinking of? Here's a clue...

So French is a Language on the Decline, eh?

As I mentioned in a previous post, I'm a bus-taker, not because I'm some super keen, fist-in-the-air, granola-eating environmentalist. I'm cheap. Anyways, on the bus, there's a couple of people that prefer to converse in French. In the East, this is probably a regular thing, but in Western Canada? This had me wondering about the pervasiveness of French in Canada, just how is the old gal doing?

No sooner did I ponder this, than I spotted a language survey on the CBC's website. I hopped all over it, naturally, seeking to satisfy my raging curiosity that has had me in its grip. In terms of Canada, its a predictable 21.9 Million English to 7.2 Million French. An interesting side note is that Canada's population is around 35 million or so. So there's roughly over 10 million people getting by in Canada not speaking a lick of English. Having briefly worked in Quebec, this seems to align with reality. Try ordering popcorn at Kernels in a mall in Laval, you'll agree with this.

So what about Alberta? What are languages number 2 and 3? It can't be French. It has to be the Chinese languages, or Ukrainian? How about German? Well, since you ask, English speakers are at 2.8 Million, Chinese Languages are 77,000, and French comes in strong at 53,000. French has overtaken German as the third most spoken language in Alberta. What the heck? French? The third most spoken language in Alberta? BC even has 54,000 French speakers.

Even our attitude towards French seems to be changing. A recent survey from The Commissioner of Official Languages found that 72 pecent of respondents were of the opinion that bilingualism "is important". 84 percent thought bilingualism was important for career advancement. Recently, I saw the movie "The Rocket" the biopic film about Maurice Richard. I'm also aware of "Bon Cop Bad Cop", which is the number one Canadian-made movie of all time. Both movies have an intertwined French theme about them. French seems to be becoming cool.

On a world stage, the number of French speakers in the past 50 years has tripled. It is an official language of The International Olympic Comittee, FIFA, The United Nations, and the IMF. French is also an official language of 33 nations, second only to English's 45. So clearly French is a major player when it comes to global languages.

My personal feeling is that it is solely due to the French Canadian Pop Artist "Mitsou" and her breakout smash hit "Bye Bye Mon Cowboy" in the late eighties.

The inertia from this hit song steamrolled over a referendum that failed, and has wreaked havoc on the separatist cause which has dwindled, and may have even played a role in Canada's Gold Medal win at the 2002 Salt Lake Winter Olymics. The evidence speaks for itself.

What. You have a better reason?

How Much Are People Willing To Take?

People are sheep, at least in the techical world. They are told that they need at least a Pentium Core Duo processor with 1 Gig of RAM, even if the person only uses Office, surfs the Net, and checks email. In fact, I do all these things, including .NET development, on my Pentium III 800MHz bought in 2000.

Well, here's the latest thing that we're being forced to swallow: Windows Genuine Advantage. It is a Grim Reaper, or sniper rifleman, constantly hovering over your nifty new install of Windows Vista. Its coming to light that WGA does fun things like only allowing you to move it ONCE to a second device, or not allowing you to install some versions on a Virtual Machine. This is not to mention that Microsoft is still grappling with all sorts of reported false positives out there: people with legitimate copies of Windows, have changed a video card, or moved to another new PC, or some other legit activity, but are locked out of their OS's. To add insult to injury, they also get a prompt basically accusing them of piracy.

Windows Genuine Advantage will hover over you like a hawk, and probably behave like a retarded bloodhound. You are going to be so unbelievably closely monitored that you will probably end up buying two or three additional $299 licenses, just to save yourself the headache of the false positive.

This really fries my bacon. Microsoft is behaving like we're all a bunch of coniving pirates, wringing our hands at the prospect of screwing over Microsoft. So if this has me all in a lather, how many more of me are there out there? At what point do people just say "screw it" en masse and give the Mac, or linux, a try?

Vista is RTM (Release to Manufacture) in November, and hits consumers in January. The technical press is already all over this WGA Gestapo topic, it remains to be seen if people get the message.

Surely somebody out there will say "to hell with all of this", and install Linux, or go out and buy a Mac. If this happens, my faith in humanity will be restored.

Our Zoo. Not too bad!

My employers recently sent our entire IT department to the Zoo, to get away from the grind for a day, expand our horizons, and learn something non-technical for a change. Mighty nice of them, eh?

Anyway, my reason for posting this is to give a big thumbs up to the Calgary Zoo. I had a couple tours: one primate tour, one Destination Africa tour. These tours were great! If you get a chance, go to the website and check the calendar for either the family tours or the adult tours. The zoo-keepers are unbelievably knowledgeable and pretty passionate about the subject matter. If you don't get a zoo-keeper, you'll get a tour by a "docent", who are basically volunteers who are pretty smart about zoology.

The tour of the primates I was really into because as the zoo-keeper talked about each of the primates, he explained where each fit in to the whole evolutionary chain. I really dig evolutionary biology so I absorbed alot of what he said. For instance, the pygmy marmoset is the only primate that has assisted childbirth, like humans. The Lowland Gorilla is the only known primate that is self-aware, aside from humans. So as these tidbits were flowing forth in this tour, you get the impression that the homo sapien primate is like an all-star team of primate traits. We got all of the good stuff. Anyways, this tour is just one of the many programs anyone would be nuts not to take advantage of.

It was almost painful to return to work the following day. But there was solace in the fact that I had my regular Friday off. Whew!

Please like us!

While visiting the CBC's news website yesterday, I noticed a strange story. You can refer to the link above to follow along. Basically, the City of Edmonton is going to be spending nearly a half million tax payer dollars to finance an advertising blitz to "educate" Canadians on the merits of Edmonton. But it may backfire.

The fact that the CBC, and other media, have picked up this story is already educating us about Edmonton, in an unintended way: Edmonton is having an identity crisis. This ad is not helping.

But I understand the dilemma. Edmonton is a world-class city with plenty to offer, but they seem to be frequently kicked in the gut. There was the Gretzky trade, the loss of high profile corporate headquarters including pride-and-joy Shaw Communications, and the biggest hurt of all, being north of Calgary.

A friend from Yellowknife, who moved to Edmonton, then eventually to Calgary cautioned me to never underestimate Edmonton's self-esteem issue. He recalled that whenever Edmonton comes out on top of Calgary in ANYTHING, it makes the front page. Edmonton leads Calgary in Environment Initiatives, would be one headline. Calgary's Homeless Population Skyrockets, would be another. It is a constant battle up in Edmonton, a struggle to constantly validate themselves as a bona fide place in the world.

Here's another headline for you, Edmonton. Nobody hates you! We all take a knock at you once in awhile, but its just banter. In the end, your still a recognized city with a cutting edge University, and great sports fans. Here's what you do....

(1) Rise up against your goverment against this expenditure. There's nothing to advertise. Does Stephen Hawking have to advertise that he's smart?

(2) Do not compete against Calgary. Calgary has a well-known momentum going and is becoming an important hub in North American business, and is enjoying success (and finding challenges). Edmonton and Calgary need to communicate more, find out ways to complement each other. This came up in a meeting here last week, our two Municipal governments should knowledge-share more. We're on the same team, basically. Complement, don't compete.

(3) Advertise indirectly. Entice filming, arts, and other sectors to Edmonton. Encourage them to mention Edmonton, sort of like "product placement" advertising, seeing Bruce Willis drinking a Coke in one of his movies. Seek more festivals: a comedy festival, an art expo, a symphony world's fair. You guys rock at festivals. Keep that going.

(4) Do more stuff JOINTLY with Calgary. Co-host something with Calgary, whatever it may be. Calgary is willing, but short on workers and volunteers.

Calgary is only your rival when its Stamps/Esks, or Oilers/Flames time. In the corporate world, Calgary's more obsessed with kicking the holy hell out of Toronto. Calgary's cross-hairs are on Toronto, not Edmonton.

I'm going to recommend something very therapeutic to you, Edmonton. Go out there and buy a Calgarian a beer. Since the Esks are out of it for this year, cheer on the Stamps. I'm not joking. It will be very cathartic.

Keep in touch, Edmonton.

Am I turning left?

Killing me softly .....

So, as many of you know, I work for the government. The Municipal Government, to be exact. I've always worked in the IT sector, but to give some background, before I worked here, I used to work for a major telecom firm, and before that, Oil and Gas services. When I worked in telecom, and in Oil and Gas, the focus was crystal clear: profit, profit, profit. Thou shalt appease the stockholders. Thy will be done. And as a worker, you get all caught up in the fervor of checking your company's stock every half-day, beads of sweat forming should the stock take a significant dive. You work yourself senseless in order to keep the machine going. Profits or Perish! I admit, I was into it. I would think, "What the hell? Only $20 million this quarter! Geez, I hope we can bang out a $60 million revenue statement next quarter! We need to kick the living hell out of (insert name here)!! "

So, that was then, this is now.

The projects I used to work on were mainly driven around earning more revenue for the corporation. But take a look at some of the projects that surround me now: Low Income Bus Pass, Traffic Detouring, Citizen Call Centre for citizens to call for help. Now the focus has shifted in a very ominous way, my focus is on citizens, not stockholders. My thirst for profits may be permanently impaired. But clearly the theme is that we are spending tax payers money, so citizens had better get value out of what we're doing. We're spending the people's money to better serve the people.

Add to this another thing. The City is in the throws of fund raising for the United Way. You see posters plastered all over the place that inform of just who the United Way helps. Images of the poor, down-trodden, people in general need of help are inescapable. So from the sheer repetition, you can't help but develop a soft spot for these people. I've already doled out 30 bucks for a "jeans sticker" which allows me to wear jeans to work, and I'm probably not done there. Most of us will shell out for something United Way related.

So, a thought occurred to me, a thought that caused me to shudder: "Am I turning into a Liberal? Am I being enticed by the sweet serenades of Jack Layton and Paul Martin?"

If I'm turning left, should I seek a cure? Or just hang my head and let it happen?

The Next Big Format War

If you're a gadget freak, an announcement was made this week that might affect our world. In our blissful world of consumer electronics, format wars are nothing new: VHS vs Beta, LCD vs Plasma, iPod vs The Rest, Blu-Ray vs HD-DVD, and on, and on, and on....

DivX, that pesky little company out of San Diego, is going public with an IPO. Until now, DivX seemed happy on the sidelines, offering quality video compression for storage, sending, clips for video production, stuff along these lines. Then YouTube and Google Video come along. Video compression and streaming are suddenly two married concepts and are hotter than a burning Pope doll.

Working against DivX is a published business model, or in this case, a total lack of one. But this is not to say that they do not have vision. Analysts close to DivX head honchos indicate that its their vision to create a "multimedia ecosystem permeating your home". This is significant because (1) they have big plans and (2) they have the technology to make a legitimate play for what they want.

A format war could be headed off if Apple buys DivX, or RealNetworks scoops 'em up, or even Microsoft may diverge from their normal practice and actually purchase them. I realize that they will be a strongly held public company at 27% public, but some feverish negotiations (read: threats) might encourage them to throw in the towel.

Then again, as you peruse the aisles in your local electronics store and notice the DVD players, alot of them are DivX enabled. In the first six months of this year, DivX collected $27.3 million in sales. Add this to the $460 Million from the IPO, and they just might have enough clout to engage in battle.

Streaming does seem to be gaining steam though, and you have to hand it to DivX, they seem to know what they're doing. So keep your eye out for DivX, gadget freaks. You'll be hearing alot more about in the coming months.

Good thing he apologized.

With this whole pope thing, here's the sequence of events as I see it...

(1) Pope quotes 600 year old text: "Show me just what Mohammed brought that was new, and there you will find things only evil and inhuman, such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached".


(2) Muslims protest this quote alleging that Mohammed brought evil by burning pope in effigy.

One prominent Islamic body, the Mujahideen Shura Council, says "(May) God enable us to slit their throats, and make their money..."

(3) An Italian Nun is hunted down and shot dead by protestor

(4) Muslim protests escalate worldwide, churches in West Bank attacked.

(5) Pope offers apology, stating his true wish that he did not intend to offend, rather engage a wider discussion of religion and violence.

What was that quote again?

"Show me just what Mohammed brought that was new, and there you will find things only evil and inhuman, such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached"

Good thing the Pope apologized for quoting that text, because that quote was way off!

Simple cure for "terrorism"

9-11 has us all thinking about terrorism. It's like a new "Remeberance Day". We all turn our thoughts to New York City, think of where we were on that day, then we usually think about this "terrorism" thing on the whole. There's an assortment of news specials as media companies compete for your attention.

What do the terrorists do when they see western coverage of "terrorism"? I believe they think to themselves "Mission Accomplished". This is not to say that we've capitulated, rather its a question of have we inadvertently given them a source of pride?

Meriam-Webster's Dictionary of Law has a good definition of terrorism: violent and intimidating gang activity. So there's two key parts there. "Violent", which is a given, terrorist acts involve bombing, shooting, beheading, which you can safely assert to being violent. "Intimidating", this is the part that I think gives unintended comfort to the bad guys.

So, when we throw the word "terrorism" around there, our antagonists must really be thinking, "look at us, we're intimidating them, we're casting a cloud of fear over the infidels, they feel terrorized. Mission Accomplished! Who do we bomb next? Let's keep this going".

So, my cure for terrorism is this: stop calling it terrorism. Find a different word, something that's synonymous with what they are: cowards who stick and run, will not fight you face-to-face. At their core, they are weak and without honour. Can't we exploit this by giving these acts a different term?

Any ideas?

All Fear the Cascading Evaluation

Tryouts, day 2

The worst part about tryouts is the feared and dreaded Cascading Evaluation. What this type of evaluation does is bring in about 6 skaters at every half hour increment. Once on, you are grouped and you play a series of minigames. As you play, you are constantly being "traded" around as evaluators attempt to put you in like skill groups.

But it's brutal.

Sometimes, evaluators don't get a chance to get a good look at you so you stay on the ice and play. Or it could be that they just don't know about a kid and want to pass him down to another evaluator to look at. The kid is just supposed to play where he's asked. From the kids perspective, its chaos. At the end of it, Ryan was on the ice for two hours, and he was bagged. Just barely enough gas in the tank for a birthday party he was to attend later on that day.

My strategy was this: downplay this tryout. We knew that this would be the major part, and performance would dictate which division. Not that we want him to strive for mediocrity, we just want him in a lower division so that he can get some puck confidence, maybe score a few, maybe learn a bit more about the flow of play, know what I'm saying?

Throughout all this, he still is having fun: lots of friends, super cool volunteers, and a chance to show some independance. If only it weren't so damned expensive!

Evaluation session number 3 goes Tuesday night.

#83, now calling #83

Tryouts Underway ....

Day one of tryouts provided more surprises than I thought:

Misconception #1 - I'll see alot of familiar faces.

We walked into the Indus arena and proceeded to the coordinators table. "Beauty", I thought, "I know this guy!" I'm thinking that this is a sure sign of how the session will go. The coordinator handed Ryan his tryout pinny: #83. I struggled to think of a famous Number 83 in any sport. I came up empty. We walked into the dressing room. We knew no one. Not a soul. I got Ryan changed and headed to the bleachers. I knew no one, again! What the hell! But after a few minutes, a familiar parent did wander in. Whew!

Misconception #2 - exactly the same routine as last year.

Not sure why, but this year's day one routine was quite different. Last year they tested very specific things: forward speed, stopping both directions, backwards speed, wrist shot. This year, they had the kids in some relay races with and without the puck, backwards, forwards, the focus was more on fun. I'm sure Ryan didn't realize he was being closely observed by evaluators with clip-boards.

Misconception #3 - Ryan will be passive during the scrimmage.

A major miscalculation. While he was one of the bigger kids, he didn't go around rubbing kids out. He actually showed some good puck possession during the mini-game. Some good confidence with the puck. This really surprised me. Last year he trailed the play quite a bit. During the puck handling relay races, Ryan frequently lost control of the puck and had to scramble to get back into the race. During the scrimmage, in contrast, he held onto it pretty good, showed some razzle-dazzle. I guess its true that some players are so-so during drills, but during scrimmages and games, they crank it up a notch. Evaluators are not present to see the scrimmage.

As I said before, there are about 10 divisions, some have the same number but with an "A" side and a "B" side. Also, as I said before, we're having a blast. As a family, we talked and laughed about it all night long.

Next session is Saturday. Very curious to see where he'll end up....

That's it! Summer's over!

Only Christmas Morning is more exciting than the start of hockey season to this 7 year-old. Last week we got the call for tryouts, they begin tomorrow. On Thursday, at 7:15pm, Ryan will once again try out for Bow Valley hockey. But this year is different.

Flashback, September 2005. We got the call about tryouts. No big deal. I had taken Ryan leisure skating with his buddies Aleksandra, Ethan, and another unidentified person. He seemed to move himself around okay. When it came time for evaluation session number one, something went horribly wrong. When he stepped on the ice, he couldn't skate anymore. I don't know if it was because of the equipment, holding a hockey stick while skating, distraction, or whatever, but the only thing he could do was "walk" on the ice. He was unable to do most of the drills.

As I saw this, I was terrified. "What have I done!" Here he is, the most impressionable years of his life, and look what I'm putting him through. He's going to be in some clock tower at 18 years of age, mowing people down with a sniper rifle while yelling "Damn you, Dad! Damn you and your lousy hockey!" It was one of the worst feelings of parental betrayal a Dad could possibley feel. I thought this until he came off the ice. As we were getting changed, he had this super huge smile on his face. "Dad, did I make it? Did I make the team?" At that moment, I knew he was a bona fide rink rat. Hockey would be good to him. By January, he was a pretty fast skater (in a straight line), definitely room for improvement, but he had scored his first goal by then and was now genuinely comfortable out there.

So this year is different. He won't stand out by having amazing skill, or by not being able to skate. He'll be the one out there having a ridiculous amount of fun. Bow Valley has about 10 divisions. I'm really curious to see where they'll put him.

Stay tuned....

Bring it on!!

This just in: Farmer's Almanac predicts extremely cold winter. This is always a no-brainer with the media to do a story on. As winter approaches, a cloud of fear grips Calgary. That first snowflake, that first day when the temp dips below zero (celcius), the leaves turning colour, the anticipation of these things terrorize the City.

So it was no surprise when a comment from a person on the bus this morning touched off a full fledged group conversation. The person mentioned the unusually cold winter prediction, and the comments were flying. People were mentioning "getting away", or various strategies for "surviving" the winter.

I say BRING IT ON!!!

Already, I'm looking at books and websites to get that backyard rink up and running. It's been too warm the past few years to even consider it. My boys, 7 and 3, and me on the backyard rink, shooting the puck around, coming in for hot chocolate after, my youngest taking his first skating strides. Also, the prospect of a Hutchinsons versus Surbeys Summit Series. Think of it! This could go down as the best winter ever!

Think of the Ski Hills, who each year are plagued with warm weather. Damn physics! Stupid snow insists on melting when the overnight low is 5 degrees. Word will get out that the Calgary-Banff corridor has the best skiing in the world! Yes, I'm looking at you, Switzerland. I said "the world"! The Boarding and Skiing will be fantastic!

Look at Calgary's historical daytime highs: Dec = -1, Jan = -2, Feb = 0, Mar = 3, it goes up from there. So Calgary's actually pretty temperate if you think objectively about it for a moment. So, the thick of winter will probably last for only 2 months, not counting the periodic breaks due to Chinooks.

So, bring it on, winter! I know that this comes from the Farmer's Almanac which has a 20% margin of error, so we run the risk of another warm winter, but bring it on anyways! We look forward to it, except for some of the ladies on the bus this morning.

Could be worse. Could be Winnipeg.

Is it Lucky Number 13 for Survivor?

"The idea for this actually came from the criticism that Survivor is not ethnically diverse enough. It's a social Experiment."
- Jeff Probst (shouldn't need to specify who he is)

When I first heard of this new twist to the Survivor series, my first thought was "here they go again, America's fascination with racial lines continue." So I could safely be put in the "skeptical" column, at least at first. But I have some questions for Jeff Probst. I know this blog has millions of eager readers, so if anyone of you in the multitudes run into Jeff, can you ask him these questions?

• For the non-white players, are you going to bring in, say, a black lawyer, an asian physicist, and a hispanic lawyer? If you so, are you prepared for the same backlash when "Guess Who's Coming to Dinner", starring Sidney Pothier, was released: minorities better become doctors or lawyers or the like if they want to matter.
• For your ethnicities, how "pure" (excuse the use of the term) will you ethnic groups be? There's so much mixing going on in the past 30 years, who's really pure white, or pure black, or pure hispanic any more? My aunt is black, so my first cousin is mixed. I'm sure my family's not the only mixed race group, are we?
• What guidelines are you going to have in place for the game? Will use of a racial epithet get a player punted?
• Is the show going to get all preachy about "how we are all the same"? Or can the racial divisions be more of a backdrop? Are your team names going to be "The Asians", "The Whites", etc. ?
• Any reaction from the Arabs, Jews, Native Americans, East Indians, etc? "Hey man, how come we're left out?"
  
• Is this Survivor's swan song? I mean, in spite of your multi-year deal?

Anyways, the show doesn't begin until mid-September, so this should give one of you ample time to ask Jeff and respond to this blog with what he said.

My Apple Rant...

Yes, I am a Mac OS X user. I do not have an apple tatoo. I do not have the apple logo anywhere in my home or one my car, except for what's on my powerbook. I am not a zealot. The only reason I bought a Mac is because I was tired of using technology just for work, I wanted to fool around with technology: create some tunes with my guitar, gussy-up some photos, do some amateur film-making. I basically just wanted to do stuff not work related. After grilling the Mac owners that I knew, and a lot of research, I took the plunge and got me a 12" 1.33GHz Powerbook. I also have an iPod that I bought awhile back, in 2003.

But here's where I'm at: Macs are now driven with Intel processors, mine is a PPC processor. Because I'm not made of cash. I did not just get back from sailing around Florida. I do not have tenants in my house that I can bilk. So, I would like to have a plan to upgrade. But Steve Jobs has this compulsive secrecy obsession. I'm forced to listen to industry analysts to get a sense of how long my Powerbook will be good for. Do I sell now? Do I have another year? Steve, what is your long term plan for your PPC Macs out there?

And my iPod is also showing its age, the battery life ain't what it used to be, and the video/photo capability of the newer iPods is a feature I think I could make use of. But I don't want to buy now when they haven't been updated in 6 months and a new iPod is imminent. Mr Jobs, can't you just tell me, "Well, we're looking at 3 months at the outset for our next model."

You can't, can you? Let me tell you two reasons why you can't:

(1) You're constantly goading Microsoft for running late on their projects, so if you lay your stones on the line with a date, and you don't meet it, you think you can kiss your cherished bit of anti-Microsoft ammunition good-bye.

(2) You and your ego just love giving those keynote addresses at Mac Expos where you do that routine where you pretend that you're finished your speech and then say "Oh, just one more thing" and then you perform this major unveiling of a new product. After seeing a few of these keynotes, I really am left with a sour taste. I feel like the keynotes are less about the product and more about you, Mr Jobs.

I just don't see what the big deal is. Enough with the "big show" already. Consumers like myself have way more selection now than we've ever had. How long do you think your followers can bow at your feet? Give some candid interviews with some respected tech reporters out there and level with them.

But, Apple makes good stuff, I want to continue to use it. But if my iPod or my PowerBook were to break tomorrow, this whole uncertainty cloud might cause me to look elsewhere. I think the whole secrecy thing had its time, it was a neat little bit of shtick. But, like the NeXT Computer, you have to let it go. (was that last sentence below the belt, Steve?)

Newsbreak: Women defy explanation.

If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
- Aristotle Onassis

Perhaps you have observed this phenomenon: you are walking through a mall, which appears to be very calm, not too many people, the stores have more employees than customers, not a very busy day. Then you happen upon a shoe store, I mean, a shoe store that caters to ladies footwear fashion. I'm talking high heels, not high tops. But one thing is different about the shoe store, it's teeming with women, and sometimes guys who have that expression of "what the hell am I doing in a ladies shoe store? Wow. That cashier is hot. I wonder what's on TSN."

Needless to say, we walked past. I did not allow my wife to go in, she was forbidden. But this was sort of fascinating. So, let me throw this question out there: what drives women to hoard expensive footwear?

The other behaviors are explainable, if you take an evolutionary biological look at them. Women wear jewellery to attract attention to potential mates. Women wear flattering clothing, sometimes skimpy, because there is an innate drive to have themselves appealing to the opposite gender. Even if other things come to mind about how women adorn themselves, you could explain it in an evolutionary biological scope: they are seeking an assortment of mates from which to select the most fit from. This makes sense.

But I return to the original question: why footwear? Do non-vegetarian men ever look at women's shoes and say "Wow, she's hot. Check out those shoes, bro." Clearly, we do not. There are "other areas" that command attention.

So why footwear? Anyone know of any science that's behind this? Anyone have any ideas or know of a ground breaking Desmond Morris study?

A Freakin' Good Book

This book is not exactly a new release, but its one I've read about three times (because of how much I enjoyed it, not due to reading comprehension issues). This is one of those rare books that I think anyone could take something out of, regardless of your profession.

To sum up its premise without going too much into detail, it takes conventional cause-and-effect theories and challenges them. Well, more like he smacks them around for awhile. For example, crime decline in the past decade: due to strict gun control, or increased sentences for violent crime? Not according to Steven Leavitt, one of the authors. His calculated theory on this decline, although brow-raising at first, will have you immediately challenging your own thought processes. How is a Real Estate Agent subtly inclined to NOT work in your best interest? What do crack dealers and sumo wrestlers and high school quarterbacks all have in common? I wouldn't do the book justice in attempting to digest these responses, so I'll recommend you flip through the book to find out what they are.

This is also a book that you can take your time with. Read one chapter, think about it for a few days, then go onto the next. You may also find yourself reading the chapters out of sequence, the book allows for that. Which is a good thing, with a wife, two kids and a few mistresses, I don't exactly have large allotments of time that I can dedicate to sitting down with a good book.

Another thing I recommend is to not google Freakonomics before you've had a chance to read it. There are a few opinions expressed that have drawn the ire of a few groups with vested political interest. But I found it helpful to have read the book FIRST before reading the media's response. There's some topics like abortion, crack-dealing, and other items that get some people into a lather.

As I say, this is a book for everyone. But read with an open mind, and sober (if possible) . After a steady diet of IT books, it's totally refreshing to read something like this.

Anyone else read it?

How to buy a camcorder (or digital camera)

Recently, my camcorder's battery broke down. This camcorder was a Sony Analog Hi-8 type of camcorder I bought in '99. It needs to be put out to pasture. Its about as useful as a Winnipegger at a MENSA conference. Now comes the task of buying a new camcorder. I'm not exactly rich. I didn't just come back from sailing around the Caribbean. So, my pain is your gain. Here is exactly how you go about buying a camcorder, the steps are similar for a digital camera. Print these steps out if you have to.

1. Figure out your true cost tolerance and subtract 15%. So if you figure 800 is your limit, then 680 will be your soft target.
2. Go here to find out what the two best camcorders are in your target range. This website comes very highly recommended, she has a lot of integrity.
3. In your range, they have a winner and runner up for your soft target category. Read both reviews keeping in mind what your expectations are. For example, lots of lowlight recording, sports recording, etc. Basically, ask yourself how you intend to use the darn thing.
4. After reading both reviews, you probably have a good idea which one you're leaning towards, but you'll still want to read about the two models above while NOT exceeding your hard target (the 800 figure mentioned earlier). Spend a lot of time reading about these models.
5. Once you've chosen you're model. Go to Froogle and enter in the model number, model numbers should be distinct enough to return what you're looking for. If not, and you're getting models of furnace filters returned, you can always narrow it down with the manufacture name AND the model number.
6. Sort the list of returned camcorders from highest to lowest, not the other way around. If you start with the lowest, you'll get 20 pages of accessories you'll have to go through. When you sort from highest to lowest, you can just click "Next" and watch the prices get lower and lower until you run out of camcorders and hit an accessory.
7. Next, take your model number and double check Epinions, the only think you want to pay attention to here is the dud factor. Camcorderinfo doesn't really track your camcorders susceptibility to break down. Ignore the functionality articles in epinions, just get a feel for its repair history.
8. Go back to froogle and select a store. Hopefully, it will be a store with 4 stars or more. If the website says that they do not ship to Canada, call the 1-800 number and you'll find that they actually do, but their website functionality doesn't make it easy to have a "ship to Canada" option.
9. Wait for your camera to arrive and enjoy. Do not take beach video of shirtless pasty white skinned Winnipeggers without a high intensity glare filter. You'll fry your camcorder's internal processors.
   

That is all. Follow these steps and you can't go wrong.

A Lesson Hector Taught Me

This past April we thought would be routine, as far as registering my 7 year old into soccer goes. We would keep our eyes peeled for the annual ad in the McKenzie Gazette for this years registration info. We would see the ad, follow the directions, fill out some web page, and, ta-da, Ryan's registered in soccer.

This year was different. I was unaware of this, but over the off-season, a bit of a feud developed between the McKenzie Sports Club, and the McKenzie Community Association. I won't get into the details, but, in the end, the Sports Club decided to hold their own league: Titan Soccer Association. So, McKenzie Lake parents were faced with a choice: register your kids in the McKenzie Lake League, or the Titan Soccer League. Huh? I have to pick? How can I pick when I don't know the difference! We chose the McKenzie League because... um... well... I sort of don't know why.

When May rolled around and soccer season began, I was disappointed to find out that the Titan Soccer League really had its act together. They had the authentic uniforms, played on fields with chalk lines, got medals, had a website, they were ultra-organized. The McKenzie League kids played in like coloured t-shirts, on a big school field, no pre-ordained coaches, just a thrown together mess. As each game came and went, I was thinking to myself "this sucks! If I could only go back and choose that other league".

Then I notice this guy. Here's a guy that looks like a soccer player, super fit, wore soccer shoes, wore a soccer jersey of a different team each week, the whole bit. I see him working with the "Green Team" (we were the "Grey Team"), and you could just tell that this guy was into it. He would coach each kid as if he were the only kid on the team. If a kid booted the ball out, this guy would scoot out after it and tutor the kid some more. When the games began, he was the only coach to run from end to end with his eyes fixated on the kids, giving on-off advice with a comfortable grin.

At first, I thought this guy was way too gung-ho. Running around, bending over to talk eye-level with each kid, what the heck is this? But as each game went by, he sort of rubbed off on me. It was sort of infectious. Who the hell cares what kind of league this is! The kids are outside playing a great game, learning about teamwork, running their little legs off. Then afterwards, running to the sidelines looking for medals? No, they're looking for a popsicle, or a juice box. They're having a blast. Not sure I would have seen this, if not for that energetic soccer dude running around.

The guy's name was Hector Mellino. Unfortunately for our community, he tragically passed away while swimming in Lake McKenzie. We exchanged glances and the odd comment during games, but I don't think I conveyed my gratitude. You were nuts about (1) kids and (2) soccer, and will be sorely missed.

Especially next May.

Hector Mellino Jr.
1969 - 2006

Mel Gibson's Rant : an "oops", or heinous hate crime?

"The Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world" - Mel Gibson

First off, we have to recognize one thing: anti-semitic rants are not cool. There seems to be a universally understood and implied "hands off" when it comes to even well-intentioned, good natured criticiques of Jewish culture or the Jewish state of Israel. Unrepentant racists in distinctive garb who blather on about Jews being an inferior people immediately spawn that hateful burn inside most of our insides. You know the feeling? That feeling that you sincerely wished those *$#@ bigots would choke on a chicken bone at their next Klan dinner. I hate anti-semites (can't even bring myself to capitalize it, even though its a proper noun). I hate them with that hatred that only love understands (Tennyson).

Well along comes Mel.

Mel had a few things going against him last Friday:

• He had a lot to drink. He was apparently in the same league as Boris Yeltsin.
• He has an ego. A huge Hollywood ego that renders him beyond reproach. For a police officer to question him would be like me questioning Stephen Hawking's scientific theories.
• And, yes, he was pissed off.
  

In many people, there is an "asshole switch". With some, getting cut off in traffic engages the switch. In others, getting nudged in a busy street flips the switch. Gandhi's switch was defective. Mel's switch was flicked on that fateful night, he found himself in "asshole mode". When you're in asshole-mode your mission is to say anything to provoke your antagonist, you really want to fry his bacon. There's not much you can say to a cop to raise his brow, so he chose the anti-jew rant. Bad bad choice. No question.

So that was then, this is now. Mel claims to be profoundly apologetic. He seems sincere, keeping in mind that he is a professional actor. But what now? I did try to get official Israeli-Jewish opinion on this, but Jewish news sources are focusing on the Hezbollah conflict, and rightly so. So there wasn't much there, not even in the Jerusalem Post.

But I'm not seeing a huge outrage. Neither has former AOL Time Warner Vice-Chairman Merv Adelman who is trying to manufacture one with an expensive quarter- page ad in the LA Times. Spielberg and Katzenberg have been silent.

So here's my prediction:

1. Mel WILL check himself into rehab
2. Mel will make some sort of appearance at a Jewish institution, like a Synagogue, or the Wiesenthal Center.
   
3. Mell will appear on the major news/interview shows like Dateline and 20/20 and be very candid.
   
4. Mel will donate a sizable amount to a Jewish charity.

These may or may not occur in this order, but you heard it here first folks.

World Trade Center Movie?

Because I'm so woefully behind the times in terms of the latest movies out there, I decided to see what's new on my favourite movie trailer site. Miami Vice looks good for some action, Talladega Nights looks funny, but then I spotted one that didn't quite compute: "World Trade Center". Sure enough, as the name implies, its about the twin towers during 9/11. What the ..... !

Does this not seem a little over the top? Since September 11th, interviews have been broadcast, books have been written, articles circulated, and ceremonies have been televised. What tale is this movie trying to tell that has not been already been told? Its like America doesn't get it, so here comes Oliver Stone to the rescue, and with the assistance of Nicholas Cage, he's going to drive the point home. Sure you've seen survivors, and victims' relatives tearfully tell of the life-altering impact this day has had, but you won't truly understand until you've seen Nick Cage in some ash-coloured make-up recite some scripted dialog on a special effects backdrop.

Who needs this movie more? Is it America, or is it Oliver Stone? What will America gain from this film? A deeper understanding of just how tragic that day was?

Also, should this movie gross $300 Million in the first month, where will the proceeds go? Will it be all profit? I haven't heard if any victims' charities are targeted with getting a cut, but it'll be interesting to see where the money goes.

America, are you really going to shell out to see this?

Where I'm From and Where I'm At

Due to some unforseen circumstances, this past weekend I found myself back in the town where I did my growins' up: Victoria. Having lived in Calgary as an adult, and finding myself having to return to the Island regularly until further notice, there's some gaping differences that smack you in the face. Alot of people encounter this when returning to their hometowns. No one in Calgary is actually "from" Calgary, right?
Here are just a few of those differences that I noticed upon my return to my particular hometown:

• If you're on, say, the #17 highway from the Ferry terminal at Swartz Bay, the speed limit is mostly 90 km/h (80 around the Elk Lake area). It is perfectly socially acceptable to go at or below the posted speed limit. I used to drive like this when I lived back on the Island, but as a Calgarian I found this idea to be totally repugnant. "Come one people! At least go the speed limit!" were my thoughts as I navigated my way around in my Grandfather's VW. I never ever would have thought this as an Islander.
• If you don't know how the roads work in Victoria, um, well, you're screwed. Take for example the road that gets you from the Pat Bay Highway to the Island Highway. When you off-ramp its "Royal Oak", without warning it changes into "Wilkinson", then just as you thought you were all settled in with one road name, it changes again to "Helmchen". So, poor visitors trying to retrace their steps back from the Island Highway looking for Royal Oak will be sadly mistaken. Victoria is rife with this, this is not an isolated incident.
• Overpasses are for the weak. Both the Island Highway and the Pat Bay Highway, two substantial arteries all are littered with traffic lights. There is no Deerfoot/QE II mindset. They could throw up some interchanges if they really really really focused on it, but its not that urgent in the mind of the Islander. After all, they're driving below the speed limit, they're in no hurry.
• I don't know how the heck this happened, but Victoria is still so damn white bread it almost leads you to ponder if there's some sort of conspiracy afoot. Vancouver is brimming with all different cultures and racially diversity, but Victoria is nowhere near this level. My cabbie from the airport was "of a different culture" (political correctness), but that's pretty much where the cultural mosaic ended.
• "Service" is not a dirty word. At restaurants, stores, coffee shops, etc, you just seem to get the little bit extra in terms of service. Now, I do have a unique perspective: I had both service-oriented jobs in Victoria (fledgling tour company I started) and Calgary (retail jobs to get me through University) and I can tell you that I was far more tolerant to my Victoria clientele. I was pretty much a prick to people I served in Calgary, but so was everybody I worked with. Obviously this is due to Calgary's HUUUGGGE need for service sector workers, but its a difference I noticed, nevertheless.
• Victoria has no Home Team attitude. We used to have a Junior Hockey team: The Victoria Cougars. But we punished them well by forcing them to play in this run-down old barn, the Memorial Arena. Man, that place was a dump. There was ZERO motivation to build a new rink back then so the team moved. No one cared. There's the odd article about there being interest in getting another Junior team, but there's still no interest. That bloody Steve Nash has everybody playing basketball now.

Now, I have to set this point straight, I am NOT slamming Victoria. I still love it, I always will. It's beautiful, and has tonnes of history and culture. You're crazy if you don't visit there at least once in your life, as a North American. My point is that everyone experiences these little twinges when they go back home to visit. Am I wrong?

Calgary in 30 and 100 years.

As most of you are aware, I spend my days working for the City of Calgary, which can be pretty cool at times. In my past lives, I've worked with stockholders in mind, now I work with Citizens in mind, and there are some differences. The things that I see being developed or are about to happen are things that could affect you and me: changes to the Transit website, software that runs the 311 operations centre, whatever. This is where it get's sort of cool.

I bring this up because I happened upon a nifty project that the City is working on, a project I'm not sure ANY city in North America is doing. It's called ImagineCalgary. What its trying to do is invent a crystal ball to look into, once there's a basic suggestion of where this city is going, we can be proactive and try to mitigate any nasties that might be around the corner. I know, I know, sounds sort of wishy-washy. But once you get beyond the initial palpable superficial appearance, it could be cool. Given what's happening to our city recently, what the heck is this town going to look like in 30 or 100 years? Check out this futuristic newsletter for a glimpse of what some people think.

Here's where I see Calgary in 30 years:

• Calgary's population is holding steady at around 1.2 Million people. Not considered to be "booming".
  
• Calgary is performing particularly well in the tech industry, fuelled initially by the oilpatch, the city's IT sector is significantly diverse.
• Calgary's LRT (Light Rail Transit, our train) extends further into the south and NW, and NE, but now sports a new SE arm, meandering its way clear down to just west of McKenzie Towne/Copperfield.
• Calgary has the gorgeous new sportsplex her athletes have been starved for. A 55,000 seat football / soccer / athletics stadium. The Stampeders continue to draw 40,000 per game.
• The Flames are floundering. After winning 8 Cups in 12 years, Coach Jarome Iginla is fired.
• AAA baseball has returned to Calgary. The new Calgary Cannons play at the 15,000 seat Foothills Park.
• Professional European soccer sees no fewer than 60 Calgarians playing for their starting eleven. Clubs Arsenal, PSV Eindhoven, Werder Bremen, Valencia, and Glasgow Celtic are all captained by Calgarians.
• Calgary's new airport has been opened for 5 years and is still home to the mega-airline WestJet, who have announced 5 additional European destinations.
• The average home will cost $420,000, which includes the new Calgary communities of Airdrie, and Okotoks.
• Calgary is feverishly preparing bid for 2040 Olympic Summer Games.
• Calgary continues to be viewed highly as a major tourist destination. The massive Calaway Park adds its third roller coaster, and second major water park.

Anything to add anybody?

Bus Rant (my first rant, so I was due).

You know, in a perfect world, the bus should be a pleasurable commuting experience:

• No downtown parking to pay for
• Don't worry about driving, just read a magazine, think about the day ahead, or just sit and zone out
• You're doing your part for the environment (but not to the degree of you vegetarian freaks out there)
• Chance to chat with friends that may be on the bus with you

But, as in most things in society, we are soon infested with morons. Day by day, I'm astounded that these morons can produce a fare, board a bus and negotiate their way to a seat without soiling themselves. How do they do it?

Not familiar with the bus moron phenomenon? Allow me to describe each type:

The Seat Commando: This particular type of moron thinks he's God's gift to transit. So mighty is he that he wants no part of sharing his seat so he'll stealthily place his briefcase or backpack on the seat next to him, on a packed bus! When a person says, "Excuse me, mind if I have a seat?" The Seat Commando Moron will look up with momentary confusion, as if you've just asked him to explain relativity. The confused look gives way to that pompous look of capitulation, like his highness is doing you a favour. Put your bag on your lap, moron!

The Newspaper Pteradactyl: This guy is a real winner. Here is the guy that takes the Herald, not exactly the most compact of newspapers, a magazine that he normally reads by spreading it out on his dining room table, and takes it onto a packed bus. Actually, this guy can be funny at times. He tries to do the 'fold over' technique, often times the paper kinks as it folds over and he tries to fix it. He might as well try to solve a Rubix Cube. Sometimes flyers fall out, but he's too cool to pick them up. Hey moron, no one will look down on you for reading the Sun. Why not bring your bedsheets to fold on the bus. It looks just the same, you moron!

The Reality Challenged Walrus-Woman: These obese morons are a study in psychology. This is the 600 pound moron that gets onto a packed bus, and sees a seat available. She proceeds to the seat, tusks heaving mightily as the bus bobs and weaves, she negotiates her way to the seat and presents her enormous behind. You see, she can't bend at the knees due to her girth, so she bends at the waist and attempts to get at least part of one of her ample cheeks into the seat. The poor person she's sharing the seat with can only close their eyes and pray, and also make a mental not to skip desserts forever. But all thought must be focused on breathing, that person is being squished like a bug. Hey Dumbo! Why not stand? Why is it our fault that you could be a stand in for Jabba the Hut? Why should we suffer. Just stand! Call it "excercise" (oooo, what a concept).

The Deaf iPod music blaster: Remember the above point about reading a magazine? Well iPod blasting moron won't let you. This person is so blatantly stupid, they think that earbuds are a magical mystical device: they put them in their ears and crank the tunes, but the music somehow stays pointed into their ears. Basic acoustic theory is lost on this moron. What? You mean other people can hear my blasting music from my $19.99 ear buds? Can this be? People are trying to read moron! Turn it down! If there's more than two of your kind on the bus, its like a concert hall. No one want's to hear Fiddy at 6:45 am!

So there you go. Of course there's some honourable mentions. Like the guy who steps one foot onto the bus, but instead of getting on, he wants to discuss bus logistics. "What time does the number 9 come by?" No problem, moron. I'm sure all the bus drivers have all the timetables of all 120 bus routes committed to memory. Or how about those ladies that hold riveting conversation about the merits of yesterday's Dr Phil episode, which is bad enough, but these morons speak at about 102 decibels, a deafening level for most mammals.

Yes there are more. But why do we suffer? We have to figure out a way to rise up against the morons! Do we pass a law? Resort to bus vigilanteism? Become one of them? Do us all a favour morons, drive to the C-Train, ride your bike (with or without training wheels, your choice), or hitch a ride. Just stay off the bus before someone gets killed!

Can you guess the boys' favourite Stampede ride?

The boys' diggin' the Ag exhibits

The Calgary Stampede is not exactly the cheapest excursion for a family of four. You could even make a case that Calaway Park has the Stampede beat in terms of rides for kids. If you were to argue this point to a seven and a three year old, your argument would fall on deaf ears. Ours are two kids that definitely love the Stampede. They're also young enough that you can get away with taking them once, which is a good thing given that it can get a tad expensive. Its kind of cool to watch these dynamos of energy go crazy for a day, sometimes in sweltering heat, then watch them wilt as the day goes on.

But when we got home, and Stampedin' for 2006 was done, I asked the three year old what his favourite ride was.

Yep, it was the C-Train.

The Gear is away. Summer begins!

In a Moving Ceremony, We Gave the Hockey Gear a Rest.

Summer officially began Sunday night with the "laying to rest" the boy's hockey gear. Jarome ran the kids into the ground, but you could tell that each of them had the time of their lives. The final day of the camp was a scrimmage, and yes Iggy was on the ice. There was also a pro goalie sitting in, but we couldn't place the face. The goalie did a good job of making the kids' goals look good. However, one of them could've been legit. Ryan set up this other kid who just wired the sucker top shelf. Legit goal? Only the un-named goalie knows for sure.

Also on the final day, poor Jarome was trying to make a valiant get away only to be mobbed by kids. It was a constant chorus of "Bye Jarome", "See ya Jarome", "Thanks Jarome". He was distracted and so was I, so I nearly ran interference on his getaway. But I extended a hand and said "thanks" for everything he did. He looked me in the eye and returned my "thank you". I still don't get it, doesn't he realize that he's supposed to be all filled with attitude? What's in it for me, the superstar athlete? What's the catch? Iggy eventually made it to his car after giving Ryan another thumbs up. I'm still left wondering what lasting effect this will have...

But that's it! Bring on Summer! Our focus is going to shift away from pucks, towards the Stampede, and also a good chunk of time down at the farm. I never grew up with a farm when I was a kid, what a jip!!

And hey, you people working downtown, make sure you venture down Stephen Ave to check out the action over the noon hour. Grab a pancake at one of the breakfasts. Downtown is hoppin'! And, if you tune in carefully during your Stephen Ave stroll, do you notice all the different languages? Does that say something?

My boy's new buddy: Jarome Iginla

Jarome Iginla prepares to give Ryan a thunderous check into the boards

This past week, my seven year-old, Ryan, has had the pleasure of attending Jarome Iginla's week-long hockey school. At first, we didn't quite know what to expect. What would this Iginla guy be like with these kids? This guy that goes out on the ice and beats the crap out of people, geez, I don't know...
Then came the meet-and-greet with Jarome on the Sunday before the hockey school. I left there shaking my head. The guy looks you in the eye and genuinely thanks you for the privilege of teaching your budding hockey star. You can tell that this guy is just plain ol' one of the good guys. He taps the kids on the shin and says, "good job, buddy". He gave Ryan some skating tips and tricks. Thumbs up to Iggy!! The kids will be lifelong fans of his, and I somehow get the feeling that it's mutual....

Plosivity??

First post, hang in there. Have patience....
So, what the hell is "plosivity". Well, its made up. Well, sort of. As many of you know, I'm a big fan of linguistics, my undergraduate degree is in linguistics, I like the stuff. "Plosive" is a linguistic term meaning a momentary stop in pulmonic egressive airflow for the purpuses of phonetic creation. Huh? Well, basically I had to come up with something when creating a web presence and blog, this word wasn't taken. And, in a way, you have to be "plosive" to blog. Whatever.

Earth shattering inspirational web content... lies elsewhere. This is the ramblings of a thirty-something IT worker and hockey dad.

So, welcome!!